Well, I have spent the past 4 weeks driving around the Norther States of America, New York, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio, Iowa and even a stop in Ontario…which is in Canada. The most impressive parts of spending this time out on the road is the fact that I have no real sense of where would be a great new place to visit. I have been to almost every state in the Lower 48, which has been a goal of mine since I was younger….which was to visit all the lower 48 states.
See, I have worked in a couple of states over the course of my life; NJ, NY, PA, TN, NC, WI and CO and that has been a pretty interesting experience. When I was 25 years old, I figured I had everything that I wanted and needed, I had my dream job, two dogs, my dream car and my dream girlfriend. I lived and worked in one of the most amazing places in the world and I was pretty happy with my life. But, like all good things seem to do, they start to fall apart. It would be pretty easy to say I had no idea that my girlfriend, who I was planning on proposing to and even more was planning on quitting my job to move someplace new with was sleeping with a good friend and a co-worker. You know, sometimes you are so blind to what is actually going on that when it does fall apart you just feel lost. Well…long story short, she did dump me, I moved, I returned an engagement ring (which was really awkward) and I have been bouncing around both professionally and personally for over 10 years.
See, one thing that this girl…let’s call her Amy, this one thing that she would harp on me for was not being adventurous enough. Amy always seemed to want to do more and see more, which for me, was okay, but I was happy with my job and wanted to see things in small doses. Amy was the one who made me move, buy a dog, and eventually quit my job and move and for the longest time, I hated her for it all. Now don’t get me wrong, I still hate her, more than is probably healthy and if I saw a shrink, he/she would tell me to let go, but something about Amy will always make me frustrated and angry. So, she ended our relationship, continued to sleep with my friend and spread some pretty nasty rumors, which was her idea of getting back at me for telling people that she was cheating on me…pretty low you think?
So, I hit the road and tried to live out my life to the best that I could. I did things that I felt would prove to Amy that she should have stayed with me. I traveled, I ate carrots, I went to grad school, I moved to Colorado, most of the things I did was to prove her wrong. I am not sure if I ever found anything from this display of emotions, but I do know that I did have a good time. There were high’s and low’s, drunk nights and sleepless nights. There were nights when I would question everything only to wake up disappointed that I was allowing her to get into my head. Months turned to years and my frustration slowly went away, but my ability to maintain a lasting relationship never got any traction.
The past couple of weeks were more than an opportunity to just get out and visit friends, it was a chance to just get some clarity. Sure, I have had a great time playing with friends, but I have had a better time at trying to figure out what’s next…which is really the point of this whole trip.
I cannot say I am any closer to figuring it out, but I can say that I have had a good start at getting there. The one thing that I do wish, I wish my friends all lived someplace warmer, but at least the things I have seen have been pretty funny.